Why Creative Juices Run Dry

Filling my schedule and day with to-do lists can cloud my creativity and, therefore, my organization. When I get to my Values, my creative juices run wild into simplicity.

This blog is about shifting our mindset from the busyness that can dry us out and keep us unorganized; to having more energy to simplify what matters most, you!

Do you remember the 90's hit from Boyz II Men? "We don't even talk anymore. And we don't even know what we argue about. Don't even say I love you no more. Saying how we feel is no longer allowed. Some people will work things out. And some just don't know how to change."

Let's don't wait 'til the water runs dry.

We might watch our whole life pass us by. Let's don't wait till the water runs dry. We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives." Certain words take you back in time if you're anything like me. And I'm glad these lyrics came up for me because it tights down to that self-care and self-responsibility we get to nurture this 2023.

2023 can be your year, Superstar!

And as much as I love my 90s music, I know the power of words and how they have influenced my life! And many R&B songs from the 90s, for me, focused on being in love and giving your life for others; no wonder so many of us from generation X lack self-love first. The song above starts with this couple's lack of communication and validation of feelings. Let us shift that around with your relationship with YOU, first, then with your loved one.

The keyword is - you, first. I grew up thinking this mindset of self-love was from selfish people and not "passionate souls" like me who were all about "changing" the world. I was wrong back then, and it reminds me of my growth in black and white mindset. I'm inviting us to choose the narrow path to love ourselves first. And what I mean by us is to know ourselves better. To ask ourselves questions about what matters most to us.

What is important to you?

It can vary and change and mix. And I'm more inclined to approach it with curiosity than certainty. Institutions and media sell the confidence of certainty to the public, and I can easily get caught up in this way of searching for black-and-white certainty. So, I lean back on my curiosity and love of learning with one activity I do daily, considered essential as air and water.

Reflection and Brainstorming

I ask myself questions, and I write them down. This practice is how I put my Values; first, I'm writing for my forward movement and daily flow. And I get to reflect during my work week. Reflecting and brainstorming organize my mindset, which can get overwhelmed and crowded with thoughts, ideas, and aspirations. So many people have locked and bone-dried their desires. And the result of dryness can create chaos instead of simplicity. I want to share how I get unstuck and allow creative juices to flow like a waterfall.

Are you singing "Don't go chasing waterfalls" by TLC? Ah, I love the 90s because the music also moved and stirred my soul. Take my activity below in whatever way works best for you. Most people say, "Ah, Patty, you're so positive!" Dang it! It's because I choose to focus on what is good. I journal and write so much because negative thoughts can sometimes cloud and suffocate me. I like to end my work day by writing down my struggles.

I want them to get out before I enjoy my sunset or my husband.

It's simple; I write the one struggle of the day down with raw feelings. This is how I validate my feelings, thoughts, and all of me as I am. Most people want their feelings validated by others, especially their spouses. It's normal, and I know my days can become very dark when I stay in that expectation. Imagine those couples that remain in the first verse of the song.

Water Runs Dry

"We don't even talk anymore. And we don't even know what we argue about. Don't even say I love you no more. Saying how we feel is no longer allowed." Most people can become bitter and resentful when they don't discuss their feelings. Or others, like me, can fire them like a gun and expect change from others first. And it can be an endless cycle for the expectation of others validating your feelings first. Again, this concept of you validating your feelings is not mainstream and, therefore, a narrow road.

Back in college in Springfield, Massachusetts, a mentor of mine told me about a parkway that only a few people knew to get from NYC to Springfield College. It ran parallel to I91, and it changed the game for me. I was blown away by the different path. It was quiet, peaceful, and full of beautiful rest stops. So sister, validate your feelings. They are essential because you matter. It is not a "sin" to feel what you feel.

Feelings are signals. Approach them with curiosity.

I know that when I am on a busy highway (like I91), I'm distracted by huge trucks, ads, fast food, and everyone fighting for my attention. The narrow road may take longer; however, you'll have more space to focus on yourself and your feelings, which will help you identify your patterns in the long term. And you get to reroute yourself gently. This is the second part of writing your struggles.

You get to come up with Solutions!

So what is my practice? I write down my struggles as I see them, raw and honest. I read it aloud, reread it this time slower, and added a breath after every punctuation. You sit with those feelings, and after two or three minutes; you write what YOU, not your spouse, can do differently. Choose the narrow road of thinking. I narrow it down to a tiny detail, not a broad solution like getting counseling. If you're honest with yourself, you're fighting for them to validate that feeling.

Here is an example:

"I can't f$ck!ng (you know, you say that word in your head) believe that he is complaining again about having a budget meeting. When is he EVER going to grow up? I'm so tired of being the responsible one!" Yep, strong and charged paragraph for you. So after reading it three times, once at average speed, second at a slower pace, and third, adding a breath after every punctuation. Sit with it. 

In the struggle I wrote above, which is 100% true, the feeling is anger, followed by sadness. I am sad that my approach, which, you guessed it, is nagging, is not working. I want my husband to change NOW. So now I notice the actual feeling, disappointment. Your breath will lead you to the core feeling, to that energy behind the charged statement.

Be honest with your feelings.

We want to skip the anger to "I have to be like Jesus!" Don't rob yourself of noticing who you are. If I had ignored my raw feelings, I would have missed that my nature is to NAG, just like my mother. Ouch! Yes, very much. Being like my mother can be part of generational trauma or learned behavior; patterns don't ask for permission. Your creative, lighter you are trapped in your irresponsibility to be honest with yourself. Accepting myself is the beginning of learning, and I get to impact the world through my creativity, not changing people.

Ready for the challenging part?

This practice of writing your Struggles and writing Solutions takes time! Come on now; you know that things that last and are good, like food, and furniture, take time and investment. Keyword - practice. It's a two-fold process. Feelings are raw, and you have them in front of your mind; most of the time, the struggle comes from "I can't believe I'm feeling this way! or "I should be more patient." And those words are keeping you confused and torn! You may say, "My feelings matter! But I should…."

And most of the time, when I'm confused and torn, my defense mechanism is procrastination. And what happens? I get no energy or motivation, or creativity in my home. Organization and minimalism start in your mindset. However, when I write my feelings down, I can release them instead of letting them roam in my head. And when I read it, I get to feel it even more. And when I add a deep breath, I put myself in a parasympathetic state for digestion. That is also digesting the information and processing those thoughts.

 Self-Reflection keeps me Lighter!

And when I'm lighter, I want fewer things and am grateful. I even get rid of things that I no longer use. Go through the three steps. Unleash yourself with the power of word and stillness. Sometimes we get to sit, and the silence itself guides us. Have some grace on yourself, and be happy you were honest today! The beauty of this practice is trusting the process and seeing how your written words on paper can guide you to solutions. If you need more guidance, please drop it in the comments or DM me!

First, give it a try.

Empower yourself with the truth of who you are now, be curious about what you notice, and write it down. Slow it down. Take a breath. Your breath can guide you to self-reflect. Self-reflection influences your energy, your flow, and your simplicity. You got this, Superstar! Drop your comments below. And as always, share this blog with a friend and share it on social media #ysuperstarsblog

Love,

Me.